Sunday, May 22, 2005

Leaving Las Vegas

After spending a few days in Las Vegas on the firm retreat, Sunday rolled around and it was time to go home.

The plane was scheduled to leave at 12:55. Given the long lines caused by the ridiculous "security" measures the airlines/airports/FAA/whoever is now requiring, I thought I'd better get there early, so I caught the shuttle from the hotel a bit before 11 and got to McCarran at a bit after 11.

And the lines at security were horrendous. Or they looked that way, anyway. Apparently, they know how to move people in Vegas. Although there were at least several hundred people ahead of me, but I was able to get boarding pass, check my bags (there was no line at Continental) and clear security in about 15 minutes.

So far, so good. I had depositions to read and over an hour and a half with nothing else to do.

And the flight to Houston was uneventful, though a little delayed. We hit the ground maybe five minutes late.

No problem so far. I still had 30 minutes to make my connecting flight.

But when we got to the terminal, someone else had stolen our parking place. At first they said they were going to move the other plane, but they ended up sending us to a different terminal. There was a plane there too, but they said it should be moved by the time we got there.

Getting a bit close now, but still probably nothing to worry about.

Then we got to Terminal C, and someone forgot to tell the ground crew that they were supposed to be guiding us in. So we waited. And waited. Interminably, you might say.

And finally with about 15 minutes to go, they started to disembark. Fortunately, the flight crew recognized that there were people with close connecting flights and asked that those who weren't in a hurry keep their seats until we got out. And they did.

Now it's a bit of a problem. Fifteen minutes to get out of Terminal C, catch the tram, get to Terminal B, and get to Gate B84D.

So I (and a few others), did the O.J. imitation. The one from the old commercials. From before he got famous. We got to the terminal at the exact minute the plane was scheduled to leave. A bit winded, though.

And then we waited. Because the plane wasn't one of those Continental Express jets. It was a SAAB 340 (I think) operated by one of Continental's partners, and the departure time was the time the shuttle was supposed to leave the gate to drive us to the plane.

The plane was obviously considerably more experienced than the flight crew. And I'm not knocking the flight crew. They were just fine. The plane had a few problems, though. Fer instance, the flight attendant's jumpseat slides to one side to stow the stairs. Only problem is that it wouldn't lock back into place. So the flight attendant, and then the first officer spent about five minutes trying to get it secured. And I guess they finally did.

So we were ready to take off. I returned my seat to the full upright position. And it slid right back to the fully reclined position. The mechanism was so worn that it wouldn't lock in place.

And we took off. And one of the overhead compartments came open. One of the passengers slammed it shut, and it fell open again. This process repeated itself several times.

But as I said, I'm not knocking the flight crew. After an otherwise uneventful flight, we arrived in Beaumont only a bit behind schedule. And my bags even made it.

So I headed out to my truck to drive home. And just as I was leaving the airport parking lot, I heard a "flop flop flop" sound of a very flat tire. And it was indeed a very flat tire.

So I pulled off the road, got the jack and the spare and prepared to change the tire. But the damned lug nuts were so tight that I actually bent the lug wrench trying to get them off. And I bent it in such a way that it gave almost no leverage. Leaving me with three loosened nuts and two that just weren't going to move. An acquaintance of mine was leaving at the same time and stopped to help, but because my truck happens to be a Land Rover, it's lug nuts are bigger than pretty much every other car on the road.

It took about half an hour, but I finally got the lug wrench bent back into a usable configuration, and with considerable effort finally got the last to lug nuts loosened, jack up the truck and change the tire. My flight was scheduled to arrive in Beaumont at about 6:30. It's about a 15 minute drive from the airport to my house. I got home at 9:00, covered in sweat and grease and break dust. Which was sort of annoying because I still had (and have) work that absolutely positively has to be done by tomorrow. Which I'll be getting back to presently.

Other than that, it was a lovely trip. I think it was anyway. I don't really remember. Or I'm not supposed to say. Or something.

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Anonymous Dave said...

You need to record the name of the brake manufacturer. You will need it for your asbestos lawsuit. Moreover, you can refer the defense attorneys to this blog when they ask you the date!

Monday, May 23, 2005 6:54:00 PM  
Blogger Jack said...

Thanks, Bambalina. I'll get right on that.

Monday, May 23, 2005 7:50:00 PM  
Blogger Jen T. (that's me) said...

Sounds like you had a good time, Wang. I do have one question though...

Vegas is notorious for its prostitution scene. Did you actually meet any hookers out there? Like in that movie with Nick Cage and she dies and it's horrible? That's a sad movie. Sad. Oh well... Just wondering if you got solicited is all... Hahaha. (Don't mind me, I'm young and I don't know better.)

P.S. -- dave/whoever's a smartass!

Monday, May 23, 2005 9:17:00 PM  
Anonymous Dave said...

Jen, I'm hurt! You don't even know me and you're saying things my ex has been saying for years.

Wang, you've found me out. I assummed you were like Le Chevalier Raphael Danceny in Dangerous Liaisons - a brilliant intellectual who is generally obtuse regarding every day life. I have once again underestimated you.

Monday, May 23, 2005 9:43:00 PM  
Anonymous Fav File Clerk said...

Dave? Dave Matthews is that you? Oh hell, I have been searching for you my whole life!

Monday, May 23, 2005 10:47:00 PM  
Anonymous Dave said...

Dear Fabu File Clerk:

I know who you are. I know where to find you. I will make my presence known.



Monday, May 23, 2005 11:27:00 PM  
Anonymous former spongegirl said...

You are not supposed to say, I think the expression is "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" or something like that.

I met a very nice man in Vegas recently.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005 12:35:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I had to do an "O.J." once on the way to Reno. Of course back then I weighed 200 lbs and I'm sure I wasnt quite as graceful. But, when it comes to missing a plane to any gambling mecca I become light as a 200 lb feather. (side note-THANKS TO WEIGHT WATCHERS...LOL)

I also got to see the Star Trek thing but that was years ago I'm sure they've added a lot of great stuff.

MissNewOrleans precious, and lighter, Baby Sis, Bonnie

MissNewOrleans'Baby Sis, Bonnie

Tuesday, May 24, 2005 2:16:00 PM  
Blogger Jack said...

Jen T-

Sorry, I diodn't meet any hookers in Vegas. At least not anyone who introduced herself as such. But you can't go walking on the strip in the evening without being accosted by dozens of guys passing out business card with a picture of a young woman (probably not the one you actually get) and an offer to have her come dance nekkid in your hotel room for $49. I'd imagine additional services would be available for an additional charge.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005 2:47:00 PM  
Anonymous Buffy said...

Did you order a bare naked lady, Wang?

Tuesday, May 24, 2005 4:05:00 PM  
Blogger Jack said...

Oh, Buffy... You slay me.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005 5:29:00 PM  
Anonymous Buffy said...

Objection! Nonresponsive, Counselor. Wang, are you trying to be clever to avoid answering the question?

Tuesday, May 24, 2005 6:02:00 PM  
Anonymous spooty magoo and the big M too said...

hey, buffster, are we in court? hardly. seems to me like he just didn't want to answer the question... more like someone avoids a crazy ex than an evasive witness maneuvering around the insipid and irrelevant questions of a crackpot attorney. that was a low blow... i apologize in advance for that one. or do i? it's a tough call.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005 9:13:00 PM  
Anonymous Buffy said...


It is apparent from your unnecessary hostility that you are in the midst of a deep homosexual panic. Get over it!

I don't apologize for this.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005 9:25:00 PM  
Blogger Jack said...

Aw, geez....
Are the socks starting to talk to themselves now?

Tuesday, May 24, 2005 9:25:00 PM  
Anonymous spooty magoo said...


why do you say that? don't you like men, too?

i don't mean to hurt your obviously fragile feelings... please let's be pals... don't let some sharp (albeit true) words queer our friendship.

your big gay pal,

Tuesday, May 24, 2005 9:41:00 PM  
Anonymous Buffy said...


You know I adore men, especially Wang.

Regarding your prior comment, it is entirely uncalled for. You are so abrasive and ugly. I think you need a facelift and some spiritual guidance.

Lastly, I am not prejudiced against you because you're a fag. I don't like you because you're a banal, loathsome fag who needs a blowjob.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005 9:57:00 PM  
Anonymous spooty magoo -- buffy's newest friend said...


from your very outspoken mouth to god's ears.

have a great day,

Tuesday, May 24, 2005 10:14:00 PM  
Anonymous Buffy said...


I am still angry with you. Your diatribe has caused me great pain and sadness. I never thought you would say such a thing.

You'll have to do something special to make it up to me. If not, I am going to Austin this weekend.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005 10:32:00 PM  
Anonymous Former Spongegirl said...

okay I am getting confused here Mr. Wang, could you please connect the socks for me?

Wednesday, May 25, 2005 4:18:00 PM  
Blogger Jack said...

In this thread, I believe Buffy and Dave are a pair, and that they come from the same drawer as Bambi, Thumbalina, the Godfather, and probably others that escape my memory at the moment.

Jen T is not she, nor is fav file clerk, former spongegirl (but you knew that), or spooty magoo.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005 6:17:00 PM  
Anonymous former spongegirl said...

Thank you Mr. Wang, things are much clearer now. Yes, I am aware that I am not part of that particular sock draw.

Quite an admirer you have there, to create so many distinct socks just for you ;-)

Wednesday, May 25, 2005 9:38:00 PM  
Anonymous Thumby said...

Wang's very lucky.

Thursday, May 26, 2005 10:29:00 PM  

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