Check out the new and improved Wang Chi's!

The New and Improved House of Pancakes is better than ever! Check it out here.

The Art of the Nigerian Scam, Part 2: More Nigerian Fun!

Here's a first (for me) in the Nigerian Spam department: a fancy e-mail letterhead and a picture of the guy who's supposed to be trying to give me money. I do find it sort of odd though that at the letterhead at the top of the page says "Central Bank of Niger," while it lists the city as "Lagos," which any schoolboy could tell you is in Nigeria.

CENTRAL BANK OF NIGER
TREASURY DEPARTMENT
SAKA TINUMBU. SQUARE, LAGOS.
REF: CBN/PCFDP/Z20/06

From the desk of the executive Governor (CBN),
Prof Charles Soludo.

DATE:27, March2006
PERSONAL AND HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL

Re: PAYMENT SOLUTION

Sir,

I am Prof Charles Soludo, Governor Central Bank of Nigeria; my office monitors and controls the affairs of all other banks and financial institutions in Nigeria. I am the final signatory to any transfer or remittance of huge funds moving within banks both on the local and international levels.

I have before me list of funds, which could not be transferred to some nominated accounts as these accounts have been identified either as ghost accounts, unclaimed deposits and over-invoiced sum etc. Your name was among the people expecting the funds to be transferred into their account, on this note; I wish to have a deal with you as regards to your unpaid funds. I have your file before me and hope your data's are correct and un-tampered unless u reconfirms it.

As it is my duty to recommend the transfer of these surplus funds to the Federal Government Treasury and Reserve Accounts as unclaimed deposits, I have the opportunity to write you based on the instructions I received 2 days ago from the Senate Committee on Contract Payments / Foreign Debts to submit the List of payment reports / expenditures and audited reports of revenues.

Among several others, I have decided to remit your contract sum following my idea that we have a deal/agreement and I am going to do this legally.

MY CONDITIONS

1. The sum of USD$5M.only will paid into an account I will provide you after you have confirmed the transfer of your sum into your account by telegraphic Transfer (T/T), confirmable in 3 working days.

2. This deal must be kept secret forever, and all correspondence will be strictly by email / telephone, for security purposes.

3. There should be no third parties as most problem associated with your fund release are caused by your agents or representative.

If you AGREE with my conditions, l advise you on what to do immediately and the transfer will commence without delay as I will proceed to fix your name on the Payment schedule instantly to meet the three days mandate. I hope you don't reject this offer and have your funds.

Transferred.





Waiting for your reply soon.
Prof Charles Soludo
GOVERNOR, C.B.N
Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN)

What I really like about this one is that if you Google "Charles Soludo," it'll take you to the Central Bank of Nigeria's site, and there you'll find Prof. Soludo, picture and all, listed as one of the directors. At the top of their page, they have a tab marked "419," where you can read the court order from a case where some chump gave almost a million dollars to someone running one of these scams. They even have a "report a fraud" forum where you can find a list of at least a hundred of Prof. Soludo's email addresses. I'm amazed he has time to get any banking work done.

Incidentally, the Central Bank of Nigeria's logo looks like this:





I wonder why Prof. Soludo's letterhead substitutes horses for the hands?



For the previous installement in this series, click here. For the next installemnt, click here.

Fred Eaglesmith at Courville's

Last Wednesday, Fred Eaglesmith played at Courville's. Although I've never actually heard Eaglesmith's work, it was a show that I'd been looking forward to. And as an added bonus, 9SD, my favorite band of local boys was opening the show.

But would you believe it? When I called Wednesday morning to make reservations, the show was sold out. I'd never even heard of Fred Eaglesmith apart from an announcement at a previous Courville's show that he'd be along shortly, and I've never seen Courville's advertise their concert series anywhere (except on their newly added webpage). Oh well, maybe next time.

Adam Carroll, another guy I've never heard of, will be playing there on April 6. I guess this time I'll have to be sure to make my reservations at least a week in advance.

Note to self....

You don't like concerts in anything resembling a theater. If it doesn't have tables, chances are it's too big. You already know this, so why do you keep buying tickets to concerts in large halls thinking things will be different?

Reply to self:
What about Willie? You liked that, didn't you?

Reply to reply to self:
Yeah, but that was Willie. Willie's a special case, like AC/DC or the Stones. Or Jimmy Buffett. Besides, you had pretty choice seats for that, and a couple or three Bourbon-of-the-rocks during the show. But this was only George Jones, Merle Haggard, and homeboy Zona Jones, and you gave up fun for Lent.

OK, that's enough of the internal dialog.
It was Merle Haggard and George Jones closing the show for Zona Jones at Ford Arena, the occasional home of the Texas Wildcatters hockey team. It was set up like this:



My seats were in floor section 1, row ff, right in front of the dance floor. Way too far from the stage for my taste, but at least it was easy to get in and out.

Zona started at 7:00 and played for 45 minutes, then there was maybe a half hour break before Merle Haggard came on, and a similar break between Haggard's set and George Jones. Comfortwise, I think the seats were tolerable for about an hour; an hour and a half on the outside.

I really enjoyed Zona's set, and Merle Haggard was pretty good too, but by the time George Jones came on, I was ready to go. Still, I hung around almost to the end, but I really would rather have been sitting at home watching the South Park Season 7 DVDs that came in the mail the other day. There wasn't anything wrong with George Jones' playing or anything like that, I'm just turned out not to be a big enough fan to enjoy the show under those conditions.

Anyway, I left as George Jones' regular set was drawing to a close, but before the obligatory encores. For this, I have been subtly and anonymously chastised by a fellow blogging concert-goer for breaking Laurie's Concert Rules. I missed the George and Merle duets. Oh well.

Next week it's the Little River Band at Cactus Canyon. I've never been a huge Little River Band fan, but last time I saw them (they were playing outside on Crockett Street), I found out that there were a whole lot of songs that I knew that I didn't know were theirs. And, as I discovered when I saw Styx there, Cactus Canyon is a first-rate venue for bands that I sort of like that used to be a lot bigger than they are now.


Edited to add: While fixing a typo in this post, I heard on the radio that Buck Owens died today. I think the highlight of the portion of George Jones' show that I saw was "Who's gonna fill their shoes?" A fair question, and if the stuff they play on country radio stations is any indication, one that lacks a satisfactory answer. RIP.

V for Vendetta

I only see about one movie a year in the theater, if that. This year, I'm pretty sure I picked the right one.

Edited to add: I bought this from Amazon. I don't know whether it's the small screen or just the fact that I've seen it before, but it wasn't nearly as good the second time around. I'll give it three stars for now, and I'm not sure even that rating will hold up if I watch it again.

Ever wonder how long you'll live?

Find out here.

Spam du Jour

Charlie Brown's got competition.

Momoh Adams writes:

From : momoh adams
Reply-To : momohadams@walla.com
Sent : Friday, March 17, 2006 7:48 AM
Subject : urgent response needed
X-Originating-IP: [216.139.164.86]


urgent response needed

DR momoh adams.
DIRECTOR OF INVESTIGATION,
UNION BANK OF NIG. PLC,
MARINA-LAGOS,
NIGERIA.

I AM SEEKING FOR YOUR COOPERATION TO PRESENT YOU TO MY BANk AS THE NEXT OF KIN TO MR RICHARD PETERSON, A FOREIGN CONTRACTOR WITH NIGERIAN NATIONAL PETROLEUM COOPERATION (NNPC): SO THAT THE SUM OF USD$26.8M=ILLION WILL BE PAY TO YOU AS THE BENEFICIARY. FOR YOUR INFORMATION, I AM THE= DIRECTOR OF INVESTIGATION DEPARTMENT WITH UNION BANK OF NIGERIA PLC.

THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS OF UNION BANK OF NIG.PLC, MANDATED ME TO LOOK FOR ANY KNOWN RELATION OF MR RICHARD PETERSON,SINCE, AFTER HIS DEATH 5/1/03, HOWEVER ALL MY EFFORTSTRACES ABORTIVE,

THAT IS THE MAIN REASON I AM WRITING YOU THIS TO ASK FOR YOUR COOPEARATION FOR US TO CLAIM THIS MONEY, SINCE YOU ARE A FOREIGNER.I ONLY HAVE TO APPROVE YOU, THIS FUND WILL BE PAY TO YOU AS THE BENEFICIARY

WE ARE TO SHARE THIS MONEY BETWEEN OURSELVES (I AND YOU) IF YOU ARE REALY IN TERESTED IN THIS OFFER YOU SHOULD CONTACT ME IMMEDIATELY. FOR DETAIL OF THIS TRANSACTION AND PRECEDURE. PLS DO FORWARD ME YOUR FULL NAME, ADDRESS, PHONE AND FAX NUMBER, YOUR COMPANY NAME OR OCCUPATION THESE INFO, ARE VITAL TO THE SUCCESS OF THIS TRANSACTION. NOTE THAT THIS IS RISK FREE BUSINESS, THIS TRANSACTION WILL COMMENCE IMMEDIATELY THERE IS INTEREST FROM YOU.


YOURS TRUELY

DR momoh adams.

If anyone's interested in picking up a few million dollars risk free, please feel free to contact Dr. Adams on my behalf. I'll split the take 50/50. In the meantime, I have pressing business in Benin:

From : emionu@lycos.co.uk
Sent : Thursday, March 2, 2006 1:32 AM
To : "emionu emionu"
Subject : NEXT OF KIN NEEDED
X-Originating-IP: 64.201.33.48



CHIEF EMI ONU & CO. L.L.B. L.L.M B.L LEGAL PRACTITIONER AND CONSULTANT MEMBER CONSTITUTION DRAFTING COMMITTEE 1995. Hello my friend, I am calling from Benin Republic West Africa. I am Barrister Emi Onu, an English speaking Beninoise, Solicitor & Financial Attorney/Consultant. I was moved to contact you based on the present condition of things here.There is a foreigner who registered with me as his personal Attorney and he was a stock broker as well as a one time secret agent in importing oil from overseas for our former Ministers. My client was also a Diamond/Gold Merchant. So, on 2nd June 2001 my client made a numbered time (Fixed) deposit for US$10.700,000.00(Ten Million,Seven Hundred Thousand US Dollars Only) with a Bank here in Benin,with standing statement/agreement with the bank that all correspond! ences in respect to the fixed deposit contract must be sent to him through my humble chambers. Upon maturity, the routine notification was sent to me, which I dispatched to his forwarding address as usual without no reply. After a month, I sent a remind er which I received from the bank without any reply again. Finally, I discovered from my client's contract employee that he died among many others on Sept.11, 2001 Terrorist attack. But,he died without making any will and all attempts to trace his next of kin was fruitless.I also discovered that he did not declare any kin or relations in all his official documents, including his fixed deposit contract with the bank.Hencefort, I seek your consent to present you to this bank as the next of kin based on the official letter I just received from his bankers reminding me that BENINOISE LAW states that at the expiration of five(5) years the money will revert to the ownership of the BENINOISE Government if I do not confirm the next of kin to claim the fund. Consequently, my proposal is that I will like you as a foreigner to stand in as the next of kin to my deceased client since you shares the same surname and also from this same country so that the fruits of thisold man's labor will not go into the hands of some corrupt government officials. Note that this transaction is simple and risk free because I will provide expert legal services that will guarantee the successful execution of this deal. If you are interested, please contact me as soon as possible through phone, I shall provide you with more details and how we shall proceed with the claims.I expect you to observe utmost confidentiality and be rest assured that this transaction would be profitable for both of us. Thanks as I await for your reply. Best Regards, Barr Emi Onui Esq.


Lycos iQ - show what you knoW: iq.lycos.co.uk

As an aside-- I looked up the IP addresses associated with these emails on hostip.info. It guessed that Dr. Adams was in various US cities (it guessed differently every time), but it seemed fairly sure Emi Onui was in Stoney Creek, Canada. What's up with that? IP spoofing? Computer recycling? High school pranks? Or what?

Support the Kinkster!

I'm sure that one or both of my loyal readers took my advice and skipped the primary elections so that they could sign the petitions to get Kinky on the ballot. In Jefferson County, you can sign up here:

Saturday, March 18
2 PM - 7 PM
The Log On Cafe
3805 Calder Ave
Beaumont

Thursday, March 30, 2006
10 AM - 5 PM
Setzer Student Center
Lamar State University
Beaumont, TX 77701

On the off chance anyone in Texas outside Jefferson County reads this, you can find out where and when to sign here.

And to make things easier on the folks gathering the signatures, don't forget to bring your voter registration card. But if you do forget, don't worry about it. They can look it up somewhere.

Hot Air on Global Warming

Reuters says [live link to same story] that, according to the UN's World Meteorological Organization, "[g]reenhouse gases blamed for global warming and climate change have reached their highest ever levels in the atmosphere." According to the article:

Carbon dioxide, which the WMO says accounts for 90 percent of warming over the past decade, is largely generated by human activity involving the burning of fossil fuels -- including in industry, transport and domestic heating.

and

Methane, generated by intensive farming and landfills as well as the burning of fossil fuels like oil and coal and which accounts for around 20 percent of the greenhouse effect, has risen 155 percent in the modern age.

All this time, I thought that the gaseous form of the incredibly dangerous chemical dihydrogen monoxide was the number one culprit. And apparently I'm not alone in that apparent misconception, with Wikipedia attributing about 36-70% of the greenhouse effect to this nefarious chemical (not including that found in clouds), but only somewhere between 9-26% to its nearest competitor, carbon dioxide.

Of course, with 70% of the Earth's surface covered by water, it's sort of hard to blame atmospheric H2O on human activity. But nevermind that, with CO2 constituting 90% of the greenhouse gasses and CH4 another 20%, we're still giving it 110%. Go team!


I think this one is even better than the BBC story that I first ran across here about Greenland's glaciers retreating and exposing "for the first time in millions of years" such things as a ruined church last used in the 1400s marking the remains of a Viking farming civilization.

No? How about this?

Well, the consensus on the last post seems to be "not funny." But how about this totally awsome video?